029 The 4 minute rule with Steve McDermott (Part 1) | Best personal development books

In this episode, Ricky Locke interviews Steve McDermott, a motivational speaker and author. Steve shares his journey from being a creative director in an advertising agency to becoming a motivational speaker. He emphasizes the importance of personal development and taking personal responsibility for one's life. Steve introduces the concept of the four minute rule, which states that first impressions are crucial and can make or break a relationship. He explains how to apply the four minute rule in both business and personal interactions.

In this conversation, Steve McDermott discusses the power of non-verbal communication and the impact it has on our relationships. He introduces the concept of the four-minute rule, which emphasizes the importance of spending quality time with others. McDermott shares examples of how the four-minute rule can be applied in various contexts, including personal relationships and customer experiences.

He highlights the role of first impressions and consistency in creating positive experiences. McDermott also explores the concept of ow and wow experiences and encourages listeners to take action to implement the four-minute rule in their own lives.

Takeaways

• Personal development is essential for becoming the best version of yourself.
• Taking personal responsibility is key to achieving success.
• The four minute rule highlights the importance of first impressions and managing expectations.
• Applying the four minute rule can improve relationships and create positive experiences. Non-verbal communication plays a significant role in our interactions, with 55% of communication being non-verbal.
• The four-minute rule emphasizes the importance of spending quality time with others to strengthen relationships.
• Mobile devices can be a distraction and hinder the application of the four-minute rule in our technological world.
• Creating a positive first impression and delivering wow experiences can have a lasting impact on relationships and reputation.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:16 Steve McDermott's Background

04:00 Discovering Personal Development

05:26 Challenges and Goals in 2020

06:21 The Book: How to Be a Complete and Utter Failure

07:14 Personal Development with a Sense of Humor

08:14 The Importance of Learning Personal Development at a Young Age

09:39 Taking Personal Responsibility

11:29 The Four Minute Rule

13:49 The Power of First Impressions

21:41 Applying the Four Minute Rule

22:36 The Power of Non-Verbal Communication

23:27 Applying the Four-Minute Rule in Relationships

24:23 The Impact of Mobile Devices on Relationships

25:45 Using the Four-Minute Rule in the Technological World

26:14 The Personal Impact of the Four-Minute Rule

27:12 Creating a Magical Customer Experience

28:37 The Importance of First Impressions

29:33 The Importance of Consistency in the Four-Minute Rule

30:30 The Role of Training in Creating Positive Experiences

31:24 The Impact of First Impressions on Reputation

32:17 The Power of Ow and Wow Experiences

41:24 Unpacking the Three Customer Experiences: Ow, How, and Wow

44:14 Taking Action to Implement the Four-Minute Rule

45:18 Conclusion and Call to Action

Steve's Links

Grab a copy of Steve's latest book here

Find out more about Steve at https://www.stevemcdermott.com/

Twitter : https://twitter.com/stevemcthinking

Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/stevemcthinking/

LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevemcdermott/

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• FREE Ebook 10 tips to improve your productivity
• Free Workbook : Understanding Your Values
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• Follow me on Instagram & Facebook at: @rickylockemagic
•  For more about me and what I do, check out my website

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Transcript

Ricky (00:13.006)

Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Unlocked, the podcast that inspires you to create a successful, happy and positive life. Hosted by me, Ricky Locke, professional magician and speaker, who's on a mission to understand how can we truly live the best version of ourselves. Welcome to this week's episode. It's great to have you here and you are about to hear a fantastic conversation that I had with one of my heroes. I know I say that a lot, but this week's guest really is because many years ago his work inspired me to think about how can we be the best version of ourselves?

And he has a great concept called the four minute rule, and it's a profound idea that will switch on a few light bulbs or two. It will certainly help you create greater first impressions in life and hopefully help you to live a better version of yourself. We had such a great conversation and a few giggles together that we've split this episode into two. But I hope you enjoy the episode. And as always, don't forget, head over to Apple Podcasts or Podchaser and leave a preferably five star rating. That will help out. And then this podcast can be shared to more listeners.

But without further ado, enjoy this episode with the wonderful Steve McDermott.

Ricky (01:16.91)

Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Unlocked. My next guest over the last 26 years, he has been a broadcaster, businessman, author, and is recognised as one of Europe's funniest, most insightful motivational speakers and facilitators. He is one of the prestigious European Motivational Speaker of the Year award three times, and Asda describes him as half business guru and half stand -up comedian. Welcome to the show, Steve, how you doing? Hello Ricky, I'm good, I'm good. In these interesting times still that we're in.

Yes, it is, isn't it? Yeah, quite interesting. And for everyone listening, we're recording this on the 15th of March, 2021. Yeah. Who would have known 12 months ago, Steve, that would be in this position right now? Nobody's answer. And as you know, because I know you're a big fan of my book, and I talk a lot about my book about vision. And I think the thing that people have all struggled with, yours truly included, is nobody knows. You know, I'm sick of that word. It's a cliche, isn't it? Unprecedented.

Put nearly a year into this interesting time, still nobody really knows. Yeah, not even a magician and a mind reader could have predicted this. That's how tough it was. But look, it is a pleasure to have you here, Steve. I'll explain a little bit more later on, but your class is one of my heroes, which is, I'll go into more detail a little bit later on. And I only discovered you about four or five years ago with two lovely ladies called Bev and Kate. So fans of the podcast will know, I have a bingo card, Steve, that...

I often reference the same people in every single episode and Bevan Kate get mentioned. So anyway, I'm bingo right now. You might get a line today. There you go. But it's a pleasure, mate, to have you on here. Thank you for coming on and tell us who you are. I know we had a really cool intro there, but tell us who you are. Well, you know, I've been so this last year I was celebrating 26 years as a motivational speaker, which always tickles me because I'm from Yorkshire. Right. And those two things don't always go together. I think.

When I first started, there weren't that many motivational speakers. If you go on LinkedIn or Facebook, everybody's a bloody motivational speaker now, aren't they? Right. But back then, somebody from York should be in a motivational speaker. It's usually somebody rara from America, right? It's a long story how I got there. But short version is I was a creative director of an advertising agency. And again, people go, hang on a minute. You went from being creative director. So if you're not sure what, you know, if you've seen the series Mad Men, have you seen that, Ricky? Yeah, yeah. We were like the documentary version of that really in the 1980s, right?

Ricky (03:33.87)

So Crypto, how do you go from that to being a motivational speaker? Well, I got promoted to my level of incompetence, has that ever happened to you? That's why you're really good at one thing. So you're like an English teacher and now they go you're head of English. So in my case, I was a copywriter in an ad agency, now you're creative director, which meant I was now in charge with 40 mad people. And I thought there's probably more to this leadership thing than just making it up. So I went on my first ever self -development course.

And I know you're a big fan of self development and a lot of your podcast talks about that in 1990. Wow. I was one years old. There you go. 1990 first ever time. And so I was in my thirties, right? First time. And it was the day, the classic Dell Carnegie, how to win friends and influence people. Right. And I did that in Carnegie. I'm a brilliant model where they go, if you're any good, you do the cost 14 weeks and they go, do you want to come out and

come back and help out. So we won't pay you, but you have to do the course again from back at room and you have to be a role model. So I got hooked on personal development and I started taking ideas back to the agency and people loved it, right? And then eventually I thought, you know, I love this so much, I'm going to start my own company. So I start my own training company. Then I started doing big events and eventually an agent came along to my events and said, can I be your agent? And I how does that work? Well, you know, I just get your gigs and you turn up and talk for 45 minutes, which I'm quite good at. All my school reports said,

Steve needs to realize he won't get very far in life if he keeps talking in class, right? So they didn't have, career advisors didn't have like job speaker, right? So I kind of went into speaking and kind of found my purpose really. And as I said, I've been doing that for 26 years. So last year I was meant to be doing a one -man show at Edinburgh Fringe, are you familiar with Edinburgh Fringe? Yeah, 26 .2, I believe. That's 26 .2 show, because I was also meant to be running the London Marathon, right, last year. So three of my main goals last year were,

Running the London Marathon, you probably noticed that didn't happen. So instead of running the London Marathon, I ran 105 and a half laps of my local running track on my own. That was interesting. And I used a lot of the stuff I'd discovered from personal development around beliefs and stuff to do that. I went to be doing a one -man show in Edinburgh throughout August. So instead of doing that, I did the 26 .2 show. Cause in case you don't know, a marathon is... 26 .2 miles. Correct. And then my book was meant to be coming out last June.

Ricky (05:56.366)

in all W .H. Smith's travel outlets, airports and train stations. And my publisher went, probably not a good idea that, right? So it actually came out in January this year, the third edition, which we'll probably dive into, with a brand new, some would say controversial title. So I know you've got, you're a big fan, you came across the second edition, which is called...

Yeah, how to be a complete and utter failure in life, work and everything. 44 and a half steps to lasting underachievement. Yeah. So the new version has 47 and a half steps. I've added three new steps and updated all the other ones, but it has a brand new title, right? So if we change the word failure, how to be a complete utter failure, it's how to be a complete utter, and I'm going to say duck, duck up. Duck up. But we all know what we mean. Yeah. And so my, my passion really is, uh,

It's personal development for people with a sense of humor really. Because I think the Americans don't quite get, I'm using Americans as an example, don't quite get that Brits don't like too much of that rah rah and you know, yeah, just say yeah and all that, right? And yet these, you and I know these ideas are profound and can absolutely make, help you become the best version of yourself. But they need to be delivered in a way that's palatable to us.

And I think particularly, and I changed the title to that more controversial word is I want young people to read this book. I mean, most people who going to read this book have read it already because it's been around 20 years, right? Third edition. So I thought, what about people who are like 18 to maybe 30? So the idea is we're perhaps going to discuss now some of your listeners might be familiar with. That doesn't mean they're still not powerful because it's like you might know them, but are you using them? But I think there's a lot of young people who have never come across them before. Like what young person has ever sat back and gone.

what are some of my limiting beliefs and where did my beliefs come from? It's just not a question that I think young people think about. I mean, I was, again, so I went on that Carnegie course, I only thought, started thinking about my own limiting beliefs when I was in my thirties. And again, I don't know how old you were before you kind of stood back. So that's my passion to get these messages out to younger people so they can kind of become the best version of themselves perhaps a bit earlier than you and I. Yeah, I totally agree. And I think one of the things that I've mentioned to some of,

Ricky (08:14.126)

my piece is I wish I'd learned some of the stuff from these books. I'm a big fan of you, a big fan of like Paul McGee as well. All the content that you guys talk about, I wish that I would have learned that at school. And as I mentioned before in previous podcasts, I felt like I probably coasted in my life for 15 years working in retail, being a national trainer and then working in these leadership roles. Just coasted, just did what I thought was, you know, what life was I've got two responses to that. One is,

I think we all wish that we did things at different times, but I also believe that, you know, when the student's ready, the teacher will appear. Yeah. Right. And so that you kind of got that's a good belief to have. And also, yes, why this stuff taught in school? And again, this is a massive generalisation now, but a lot of teachers are the poorest learners. Yeah. You know, a lot of teachers, I once got drafted in for the Minister of Education at a big conference. He was ill. So they pulled me in.

speaking to 2000 head teachers, probably one of the most challenging audiences I've ever had, because they all sat back with their arms folded going, I'm not going to listen to this because I'm a head teacher, right? But if only, you know, first lesson on a Monday morning...